How Frankie Beverly's Death Unearthed Postponed Grief Regarding My Father's Murder: Can I Talk About It?
- Jerusalem Brown, LPC, NCC
- Sep 14, 2024
- 7 min read
Updated: Oct 19, 2024
Let me take you back for a second. If you've ever been to a Black family reunion, BBQ, or any soulful gathering where good vibes were mandatory, chances are Frankie Beverly & Maze were setting the mood. Their music wasn’t just a backdrop—it was a heartbeat. And if you really listen, that heartbeat holds the rhythm of love, resilience, and joy, which transcends generations.
I grew up on Frankie Beverly. His voice was the constant background to the soundtrack of my father’s life, it seems—smooth, strong, and full of heart. My dad was my world, and when I lost him at just 12 years old, it felt like the music stopped. But whenever I hear Frankie’s velvet voice float through the air, it’s like I get to have a moment with my father all over again. I feel him near, smiling, probably telling me, "Don’t forget to two-step to this one, baby."
A Legacy of Love & Light
Frankie Beverly’s music wasn’t just about grooves or smooth vocals. It was about connection—both to ourselves and to each other. That’s why his songs have become generational anthems, especially in Black households. There’s something special about the way "Before I Let Go" gets every uncle on the dance floor or how "Joy and Pain" speaks to the duality we all feel. It’s real music for real people, about real-life situations. Amen?
Listening to Frankie, it’s easy to understand why his music touches so many souls. He sings to us about life’s complexities, and the ups and downs--without ever losing hope. His songs are healing in their complex simplicity—they’re like a warm embrace from someone who truly gets it. It’s why we play his music during our highest highs and deepest lows.
A Personal Connection: Music as Therapy that
Heals Generations and Hearts
For me, Frankie’s music holds a special place in my heart. It’s a portal back to my dad’s preference of music. Music is powerful that way—it’s a form of therapy that doesn’t require words or a session. It’s the closest thing we have to a time machine. When I hear a Frankie Beverly tune, it feels like my dad is right there with me--reminding me to hold on to the joy, even through the pain.
And I’m not alone in this. Frankie Beverly’s music has that kind of magic for so many people. It’s the kind of music that brings us together, connects us to those we've lost, and reminds us of the importance of love, family, and community. I know when I hit play on one of his tracks, I’m not just listening—I’m healing.
Frankie Beverly’s Universal Appeal: A Therapy Session in Song
Frankie Beverly made music that feels like a therapy session. A soulful, rhythmic reminder that joy and pain often walk hand in hand. His ability to put that complexity into a groove is why, to this day, his music still resonates. We don’t just listen to Frankie—we feel him. We feel him when we’ve had a hard day, when we’re celebrating a win, or when we’re holding on to someone we love, trying not to let go.
His music is the ultimate reminder that no matter what we’re going through, there’s beauty in the struggle and always a reason to dance. Frankie Beverly's songs make you want to get up, even when life tries to knock you down. He’s been teaching us for decades to keep our heads high and our hearts open.
Keeping His Legacy Alive
Frankie Beverly’s music reminds us that life is a journey full of both joy and pain. It’s through these moments that we grow, heal, and, most importantly, stay connected. Whether you’re listening to him on a road trip or while you're missing someone deeply, like I do with my father, his songs are reminders to cherish life’s beautiful complexities.
For me, Frankie Beverly’s music will forever be a lifeline to my past and a guide to my future—a way to stay connected to the love and lessons my father left behind. And I know that for many of you, his songs are much more than just music; they are emotional lifeboats, holding us steady through the waves of life.
So next time you hear "Before I Let Go," remember, it’s not just a song—it’s a celebration, a moment of healing, and a reminder that love, in all its forms, always endures.
Acknowledging the Finality of Death
One of the hardest truths we face in life is the finality of death—the harsh reality that someone you love is gone and won’t return. Losing someone dear to you creates a hole that can never fully be filled. And if you're like me, you might find yourself, at times, avoiding that truth altogether. It’s natural to push that knowledge away, to pretend like they might walk through the door at any second. But deep down, the ache remains. Grief is one of the most human experiences, and it brings with it waves of emotions that hit at unexpected times.
For me, losing my father so young felt like a loss that I could never recover from, but I didn't have anyone with which to talk about those feelings. I found myself clinging to anything that made me feel close to him (my dad)—like Frankie Beverly’s music—while simultaneously avoiding the painful truth that he wasn’t coming back. Avoidance is a common coping mechanism, and it makes sense—because who wouldn’t want to dodge the full weight of that kind of sorrow!? But the longer we avoid it, the more we prolong the healing we so desperately need.
The Journey Through Grief: Five Stages, No Straight Lines
Grief isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. It’s messy, non-linear, and deeply personal. You’ve probably heard of the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They don’t happen in neat, predictable order, either. You might find yourself bouncing between stages or even revisiting them after years of healing.
Denial is often the first response—the mind’s way of shielding itself from the overwhelming reality of the loss. You might find yourself in a state of disbelief, like your loved one is just on a long trip. It’s your brain’s attempt to protect you from emotional overload.
Anger comes next—an expression of the pain you’re carrying. You may feel angry at the universe, the situation, or even your loved one for leaving. Anger can be confusing, but it’s a natural part of the process.
Bargaining involves the "what if" or "if only" thoughts. You may replay moments, wishing you could change something to prevent the loss, or make deals with yourself or a higher power to bring them back.
Depression often feels like the heaviest part. It’s when the reality of the loss begins to sink in, and the sadness can feel all-encompassing. This stage may be prolonged and intense, but it’s important to allow yourself to feel it fully rather than push it away.
Acceptance doesn’t mean that the grief ends, but rather that you come to terms with the loss. It’s about learning to live with the reality that they’re gone, even as the pain lingers.
Need more support? Consider joining an MHM Support Group.
Being Patient with Yourself
Grief takes time—sometimes longer than we expect or even want. There is no "right" way to grieve, and it’s okay to not have it all together. The key is to be gentle and patient with yourself through this emotional rollercoaster. Allow yourself to feel the anger, the sadness, and even the moments of numbness.
Some days, you might feel like you're moving forward. Then, out of nowhere, a song, a smell, or a memory hits you, and you’re back at square one, missing them all over again. That’s normal. You might never "get over" the loss, and that’s okay. Grief is more about learning how to carry it with you rather than trying to make it disappear.
There’s no timeline for grief--there's no magic cure. Healing looks different for everyone, but it begins with allowing yourself to feel every emotion and giving yourself grace as you navigate those feelings. Don’t rush the process. Some days, you’ll take one step forward, and others, you’ll take two steps back. Just know that every step—forward or back—is part of your journey toward healing.
Honestly, I don't think I've ever fully recovered from my father's death--I've just gotten used to dealing with the "void," "the blank feeling," and the unexplainable sense of LOSS. - Jerusalem Brown
It’s okay to seek help. Whether it’s therapy, support groups, or talking with friends. Leaning on others can help lighten the load. And while grief may never fully go away, with time, it becomes more manageable. You’ll find that the love and memories remain as the pain seems to soften.
Final Note: Honor the Music, Honor the Memories
Frankie Beverly gave us more than just timeless hits; he gave us a soundtrack to life, a reminder to embrace the duality of joy and pain. His music is a bridge to the past, a connection to those we love, and a source of healing when we need it most. Play his music loud, cherish the memories it brings, and always remember the beauty of the rhythm in your own life.
If you’ve ever swayed to his melodies or found healing in his lyrics, you know what I mean. And if you haven’t? Well, it’s never too late to let Frankie Beverly show you the way.
This one's for you, daddy (Carlton Brown, Sr.). You are forever missed. I don't hold anything against you, and I wish so desperately that you were here with me (and all the people that love you).
And To Frankie Beverly, I honor you for not just recognizing your gift, but for having the courage to follow it. Through your music, you’ve given us all more than just songs—you’ve given us moments of healing, joy, and connection. Your voice and your melodies have been a balm for so many--offering comfort when we’ve felt lost and celebration when we’ve found it difficult to cope with life.
Your dedication to your craft has left an undeniable impact on generations. By staying true to your gift, you’ve given us a soundtrack to our lives, one that helps us honor our own feelings, memories, and loved ones. You’ve reminded us, through every note, that joy and pain are part of the journey, and you’ve shown us how to carry both with grace.
Thank you for being a beacon of light, for giving us music that moves not just our bodies, but our souls. Your legacy has, and will continue to, touch countless lives in the most positive and meaningful ways.
I honor you and my father with deep reverence and gratitude. 🙏🏽
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